Abuse & Love Cannot Coexist

*Disclaimer* This does not imply that someone who has abused you did not love you. It only means that the act of abuse is not love even though it may have been labeled as such. “I am doing this because I love you.” “I love you, but” There should not be a “but” after “I love you,” as it implies that love is conditional. 
 
I haven’t been able to stop thinking about this passage from “All About Love.” 
 
It isn’t our faults, really. We are shown how to love by our caretakers and them by theirs. 
 
We live in a culture that shames love. That considers it weak. We also live in a culture that doesn’t fully understand what love even is. 
 
You see the utter avoidance in modern day dating culture with “catching feelings” being a death sentence.
 
Cheating runs rampant and always seems to be justified in some way.. since the remorse and guilt is even harder to face. 
 
People list off all the things they hate about their partner or their best friend and then label it as love. 
 
It’s not love. 
 
And it breaks my heart at how many of us believe it is. 
 
Love is “the will to extend oneself for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth.” 
 
“The experience of genuine love – a combination of care, commitment, trust, knowledge, responsibility and respect.”
 
I don’t know how to love, truly. I still love with expectation. Which forms into bitterness and resentment when it’s not met. I’m aware of it and working to improve it. But through that I’m wanting to bring more awareness to love and loving, to talk about it more so it’s not so taboo. 
 
We’re so scared to love because we believe that love hurts. It’s the abuse that we’ve been taught that coexists with love that hurts. 
 
True love, the opposite of fear, will in fact set us free.

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